|Last week I invited you to go in search of your childhood dreams…the things you left behind in order to protect yourself from rejection, shame, humiliation or pain. This is the first thing you need to do to resurrect the swan who lives inside your heart.
Today, I’ll share another tip to help you access the swan and invite her out to play.
Stop the Negative Self-Talk
If you’re a swan who has been raised by ducks, you’ve probably been subject to others talking badly to you (or about you), so there’s no need for you to continue adding to the load of negativity you already carry around.
You see, when you’re a swan who is trying her best to be a duck you have to expend a lot of energy trying to twist your energy this way and that, and attempt to squeeze your self into duck shapes, sizes & colors that aren’t yours to squeeze into. Trying to pretend you are a Mallard duck instead of a swan is rather exhausting, wouldn’t you say?
So, whether your feathers are black, white or a gorgeous shade of something in between, you’re a swan. And swans look, act and behave like…swans.
But, what if you’re a swan who doesn’t know it (or you’ve simply forgotten), and you’ve felt like you don’t fit, don’t belong, that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or DUCK-Y enough? You’ve been trying to find your “tribe”, your purpose, or where you “fit” for what feels like forever? Take heart! There are other swans out there looking for you too, I promise! The trick to finding them is to start acting like a swan yourself. And swans don’t beat themselves up for trumpeting instead of quacking.
This week’s challenge invites you to examine all the ways you beat yourself up. Berate yourself. Talk to yourself in ways that make the paint blister and peel from your the inner walls of your soul.
Starting immediately, keep a self-talk journal and make an entry each and every time you say something negative to yourself about yourself. It doesn’t matter whether it’s grossly negative or only slightly negative. There’s no gray area here or ‘little white negative self-talk.’ All negative self-talk gets written down for an entire week.
At the end of the week take a peek at the things you say to yourself or others about yourself (even if it’s just in your head) I am willing to bet you are completely unconscious to the fact that say things that you would never tolerate from another person. Could you imagine if your boss, a stranger on the bus or your best friend said some of the things to you that you say to yourself? Not even if hell were to freeze over! Nobody talks to you that way, except, of course…you! Your negative self-talk is like drinking arsenic every day or pouring bleach down your throat and chasing it with a tonic of ammonia. It poisons your body, mind & soul.
Reading your journal you might be shocked and saddened when you read all the mean, derogatory, nasty and frankly undeserving things you say to yourself. Whether the thoughts are expressed aloud or not, the negative self-talk is verbal abuse and it must stop if you want to become the magnificent beautiful woman you were born to be.
For each negative comment you read in your journal, write five positive retorts from your inner swan. Let her trumpet loud & clear about your strength, courage, wit, intelligence, creativity, sass, brass, and unique beauty. If you think to yourself that your thighs are jiggly, that your stomach is fat, that you’re stupid, that you have a terrible memory, that you’re bad with money, that you make poor decisions, or that you’re a dunce let your swan give you five positives for every negative.
Even if you don’t believe her.
Did you know that a swans beating wings can break a man’s arm? The next time you catch yourself mid-negative self-flog, let your inner swan have a swat at them. After a few days of this she’ll be like your very own thought coach and spam filter for your body, mind & spirit all rolled into one. She’ll be your sentinel, on the lookout for the dark clouds of negative self-talk, spotting them a mile before they show up. The moment she sees those negative thoughts coming down the road she’ll start flapping and beat them to smithereens, breaking their bones into a million tiny shards. She’s got your back, sister. She’s strong, courageous, graceful and you can trust her implicitly.
Please feel free to message me or send me an email to let me know how this exercise challenges you, (and I would LOVE to hear what your inner swan tells you about your beautiful magnificence!).
And, if you find that you need additional support in the form of breaking the nasty habit of negative self-talk, or finding things about yourself to love and appreciate, please e-mail me to request a complimentary coaching consultation.
To your freedom,